Alright alright, I know its been a while since my last and also, apparently my first post haha, but hey, at least I am taking the initiative right now in typing my SECOND post in 3 MONTHS hehe (guilty). Well.. I guess I should update what I've been up to these 3 months, since I've been missing in action for so long..
Actually, there isn't a valid reason for why I've been stop blogging. Its actually simply because I'm simply lazy, and sometimes I feel that if I am going to blog, I want to blog mindfully, and that costs a lot of time as I would always be alone with myself quietly thinking for a few hours about what I actually felt that day. But I think I am going to try blogging more often, and try not to think too much, just be in the moment and FEEL it, kinda like using more of emotional thinking rather than analytically thinking all the time, you know, let the inspirations FLOWWWW~~~~~~~
Its exam week and I've been doing a lot of last minute stuDYING. And for almost every subject, I would study from night until the second day morning, and straight went off to school to take the exams, of course, I would take a 30 minutes to 1 hour ++ nap, but still the experience was very exhausting.
For me, I always think that exams and the things I am currently studying are stupid, its a waste of time I always tell myself that. What's the use of studying the things we dislike just to graduate with a degree cert? And the next step is getting a boring job that we all hate and live the rest of our lives chaining to debts and liabilities to carry. I always thought that something is wrong with the society, and always grunt but do nothing about it, because, I am part of this society trend, what can I really do? But recently, I got to know a girl, and she actually changed me, not literally, but well, part of me. She showed me something I had always been missing since long ago: the quality of optimism and determinant, the quality that was so strong that at that moment I felt that nothing is impossible. She didn't persuade me that the society is not wrong, and my opinion about this still stands, however, she managed to persuade me that if we really had to follow this strange trend, we are still able to do what we want to do or be whatever we want to be, as long as we are willing to. With that, we shall stand out from the norm.. Her spirit amazed me and from that day, I am still learning and carrying that spirit in facing life.
SOOO.. what does that got to do with me and my exams? Quite big effect I must say, before, I can't remember when I started acting like that, but I started to take things lightly, especially those which I don't feel interested in, always wanting to escape from those situations, giving me excuses such as "everything will be okay" or "it doesn't matter". But the thing is it is not about how it will turn out, its about how I face that situation. If I kept escaping by giving lame excuses, slowly I don't think I won't able to succeed in doing anything. Determinant, is doing things which seems hard and overturn the outcome by enduring and working hard. I am a kind of guy who likes doing things "happy-go-luckily", so whenever facing things I dislike, I don't feel interested in doing and often give up half-way or just simply doing it. However sometimes, we just have to do the things we hate just to see the rainbow behind it..
And with that, I tried to carry that spirit when preparing and facing my exams, and hopefully carrying it everyday, because living life to the fullest is about doing things passionately and really focusing and being in the moment despite how distasteful it may seem. We won't get the things we want just by wishing, but through pain and effort, even if it means doing things we don't like. The things you just read may sound cliche and you may heard it a lot of times, same goes for me, but I think I have a deeper understanding about it right now. There's the saying which goes something like this: "If you want something, you have to BE that something."
This post originally was to update about my current status, but it seems it has become a post of my thoughts about how life should be treated. I hope this post not only acts as a reminder to myself, but also hope it inspires those who are reading. Good night and may all be well and happy. Smile! :)
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