Parables - For Me and You

During this semester break, I kept moving back and forth into these emotional states of feeling agitated and feeling slothful. Agitated because I kept stressing myself up, whether is pressuring myself to be more productive or thinking WAYYY TOOO MUCHH, pushing my mind somehow to an extent that it is about to go KABOOM. On the other hand, after being so stressed up, there are sometimes that I felt that I don't feel like doing anything, and the word for that of course would be: LAZY (hehe the lazy me).

Somehow, perhaps I'm pushing myself too much by being too energetic and that cause myself to be loosen after that. And by the end of the day, what I normally do after that is, blaming myself, keep giving myself negative thoughts, feeding my mind with these poisons saying "you are such a loser" or "why can't you be any better?".

And for those who are reading this, if you are feeling the same way as I am, then that means YOU ARE A FAILURE TOO! opps just kidding. If you are feeling the same, then please tell yourself it's okay to be a failure, I mean, to procrastinate and not being productive, don't stress yourself too much, just relax and try to see the situation as what it is, don't judge and don't blame. As the definition of what's good and what's bad is just our perspective on things, the truth is things don't have good or bad, it simply is just what it is. :)

SOOO... what can we do then? Hmm.. I think I will let these 2 videos to explain more of it and thanks to these videos for inspiring me so much. Hope you guys have a great week ahead! Namaste. _/\_

疯狂的我

呵呵，看到我之前的post，这次我尽量不写那么长了:P ：

昨天（9月17日），我做了件很疯狂的事情，是我有史以来做过“暂时”最傻最突然的事了。

那时是下午1点多，刚睡醒就下来吃午餐了。吃了后也剪了指甲，突然看见妈妈刚从朋友那里拿回来的脚踏车，心血来潮便拿了出去骑一骑。那时我还是穿着睡衣（家里穿的普通衣服），钱包电话什么都没带，口袋只是有着一串家钥匙，一串脚车钥匙，就这样出去了。

原本还想说只是骑一下子逛逛看看家园附近最近的改变。怎么知道却越踏越远，不知不觉就踏进了sentosa里面。这时，心中突然有着莫名的冲动，想着一个非常傻且刺激的主意：“eii？不如咱们去家胜的家吧？” 就这样，我就踏到家胜家去了。

家胜，其实是我最要好朋友之一。不管是傻事还是心事我们都会常常一起分享，或许是因为相应的关系，所以每一次跟他在一起都会很舒服。而为什么我会说去他家是个傻主意呢？那是因为家胜他人住在Bandar Botanic，而我呢却住靠近sentosa，距离应该有8公里远，就连驾车到他家也大约需半小时时间。

不过当下会突然有着这念头，是因为想到家胜他人星期日就得回去金宝读书了，而我们之前答应说好这假期一起出来聊聊天。就这样，由于担心过后的几天里彼此没办法抽空出来，因此就告诉自己说：去吧！

另外，其实在考试期间里，也面临了许多打击自己自信心的问题，让我开始怀疑自己的潜能了。也借此机会发泄发泄。一开始有着这想法时，发觉自己的心是不敢不敢地，是那么的不果断，那么地胆小。问自己怕什么时，自己也不知道。难道说路程太远太危险了，自己一个人不敢去吗？这时脑子里也突然闪过自己读过的一篇文章，那篇文章是说关于如何成功，让我最印象深刻的一点是它说的我们往往会不成功，其中一个原因是因为我们怕成功，我们不敢接受成功，因为我们怕改变，因为我们现在过得很享受，有着很好的环境，很好的条件。恐怕努力过程中就失去了这些感受，这些好条件。可是，我们必须弄清楚的一点，这些我们现在享受的一切，它只能够暂时性地满足我们，我们始终还是会面临苦的。

当下脑子闪过这篇文章后，心立刻毫不犹豫地告诉身体说：“咱们冲吧！没什么好怕的，咱们必须要改掉这个“怕成功”的心态！”。就这样，不再害怕，不再犹豫地抱着一个心态：做，就是了。

过程，我才发觉原来在全身贯注地做一件事时（比如非常小心地看路；少车较安全时看看风景），路程其实没有自己想象中远，也没想象中累。或许是因为自己在做着自己喜欢我的事吧？但心中是希望自己在读书时也培养出这份坚持，不要再因为抗拒读书而懈怠了。

到达家胜家那瞬间，看得出他头上挂着好多问号。当他看见我脚踏车时，他才惊讶地问道：“你踏脚车来啊？！” 哈哈。。那表情还真是那么的可贵啊！ XP

在家胜家，我们聊了很多。从学业说到友情，从友情说到爱情，也从爱情说到"法侣情"，总之就是什么都聊，能够与好久没见面的好兄弟聊这么久 ，可说是种简单的幸福。兄弟，看好你的“小说”哦！ 加油！在这里也祝福你，希望你学业猛进，一起福慧双修。 :)

总结呢，昨天虽然是我做过最疯狂的一件事，但也是我做过最满足的一件事。从中我证明了自己其实是可以的，也肯定了自己其实是可以从不可能中变去可能，条件是只要告诉自己，也相信自己是能办到的，过程中也不去质疑，只是一味地去做，相信很多事情就这样可以迎刃而解。在这次的体会中，我也对这句：“目的地不重要，重要是过程。” 有着更深一层的体会。当初到达家胜家时，心里的确有着很大的满足感，非常地开心，但过了一段时间后才发觉这点成就虽然能够让我开心起来，可是主要让我更加开心地是它过程。因为过程中的心情起浮，有时紧张；有时谨慎；有时轻松；有时酸痛，这些多样化的心情不但让我能够察觉自己得更细，而且也在这些心态中了解了自己的一点点。最重要的，还是因为过程让我感觉人生更加地真实，更加地美。感恩自己，也感恩每一天有着让自己有机会学习的因缘。_/\_

MIA (Missing In Action)

Alright alright, I know its been a while since my last and also, apparently my first post haha, but hey, at least I am taking the initiative right now in typing my SECOND post in 3 MONTHS hehe (guilty). Well.. I guess I should update what I've been up to these 3 months, since I've been missing in action for so long..

Actually, there isn't a valid reason for why I've been stop blogging. Its actually simply because I'm simply lazy, and sometimes I feel that if I am going to blog, I want to blog mindfully, and that costs a lot of time as I would always be alone with myself quietly thinking for a few hours about what I actually felt that day. But I think I am going to try blogging more often, and try not to think too much, just be in the moment and FEEL it, kinda like using more of emotional thinking rather than analytically thinking all the time, you know, let the inspirations FLOWWWW~~~~~~~

Its exam week and I've been doing a lot of last minute stuDYING. And for almost every subject, I would study from night until the second day morning, and straight went off to school to take the exams, of course, I would take a 30 minutes to 1 hour ++ nap, but still the experience was very exhausting.

For me, I always think that exams and the things I am currently studying are stupid, its a waste of time I always tell myself that. What's the use of studying the things we dislike just to graduate with a degree cert? And the next step is getting a boring job that we all hate and live the rest of our lives chaining to debts and liabilities to carry. I always thought that something is wrong with the society, and always grunt but do nothing about it, because, I am part of this society trend, what can I really do? But recently, I got to know a girl, and she actually changed me, not literally, but well, part of me. She showed me something I had always been missing since long ago: the quality of optimism and determinant, the quality that was so strong that at that moment I felt that nothing is impossible. She didn't persuade me that the society is not wrong, and my opinion about this still stands, however, she managed to persuade me that if we really had to follow this strange trend, we are still able to do what we want to do or be whatever we want to be, as long as we are willing to. With that, we shall stand out from the norm.. Her spirit amazed me and from that day, I am still learning and carrying that spirit in facing life.

SOOO.. what does that got to do with me and my exams? Quite big effect I must say, before, I can't remember when I started acting like that, but I started to take things lightly, especially those which I don't feel interested in, always wanting to escape from those situations, giving me excuses such as "everything will be okay" or "it doesn't matter". But the thing is it is not about how it will turn out, its about how I face that situation. If I kept escaping by giving lame excuses, slowly I don't think I won't able to succeed in doing anything. Determinant, is doing things which seems hard and overturn the outcome by enduring and working hard. I am a kind of guy who likes doing things "happy-go-luckily", so whenever facing things I dislike, I don't feel interested in doing and often give up half-way or just simply doing it. However sometimes, we just have to do the things we hate just to see the rainbow behind it..

And with that, I tried to carry that spirit when preparing and facing my exams, and hopefully carrying it everyday, because living life to the fullest is about doing things passionately and really focusing and being in the moment despite how distasteful it may seem. We won't get the things we want just by wishing, but through pain and effort, even if it means doing things we don't like. The things you just read may sound cliche and you may heard it a lot of times, same goes for me, but I think I have a deeper understanding about it right now. There's the saying which goes something like this: "If you want something, you have to BE that something."

This post originally was to update about my current status, but it seems it has become a post of my thoughts about how life should be treated. I hope this post not only acts as a reminder to myself, but also hope it inspires those who are reading. Good night and may all be well and happy. Smile! :)