First Degree Semester Break

heyyyyy what's up~~!!

哈哈，又是好久没打部落了，不知不觉一个月的Semester Break就这样过去了。该收拾得心情也应该是收得七七八八了，该准备好好拼一拼了。

在这semester break的我到底都在搞什么呢？Hmm..现在应该做个list下下.. 至少以后看回去可以让自己知道自己是那么厉害跑的 :3

• 15 & 16 September, 还记得当天是final最后一天。考完后的我们去看了《等一个人咖啡》，之后也与Karkin和 Ah Huat熬夜通宵玩到早上7点多的机。怎知道才睡一小时，父母就接我一同去法国村玩去了。当天整个人还真的像僵死一样，呵呵。
• 18 September, 与家胜和亲爱的妈妈一同去吉胆岛欣赏欣赏艺术，当天的天气还真的挺炎热，骑着租脚踏车在岛上四处游玩找艺术看。过程真的很好玩，谢谢妈妈！ ^^

  

  吉胆岛的directory，现在想回没与妈妈和家胜一起拍过全体照还真的很可惜 o.o

   
• 19 & 20 September, 因为housemate Joan和她表姐下来巴生参观，我与好友Ah Huat和家胜也一同带大家到i-city看灯光摆设，也在那儿的游乐园玩了些，其中还第一次踏上了摩天轮看夜景，是个不错的体验哦。第二天早上呢，还带大家到teluk pulai去Joan与她表姐
  意味想到的肉骨茶店吃早餐。由于还是第一次当了自己地方的导游，所以如果有哪里做得不够好就请原谅啦~
•  26 September, 与sanyong和say fong一同去mid valley打工。做了kuli帮忙个health exhibition set up场所。搬东西的过程好累好辛苦，不过有朋友一起共同做事的感觉也可以非常开心，因为知道是一起艰辛度一天。过程也体会赚钱不容易，因此该好好珍惜现在被给予的读书机会。
•  28 September, 滨海大型活动 —— 中秋节庆典。再次参与了缘之家，服务大众。这在这次的戏剧中又当了“人妖”。能够再次当了学长为大众服务的感觉很好很善，会在别人获取快乐当中自己心中也点燃了喜悦的燃料。中午也与老师和学长们一同吃午餐，真的好难得能与缘之家们好好坐下来吃个饭聊聊天了。发觉这些如一同吃饭看似不以为然的事，却因为够简单够单纯，才会升起深深的快乐与知足感。看来在这脚步快又充实的生活中，我的确需要很多的这些小细节让我快乐幸福。 X)
• 29 September, 与学长团其中要好的朋友/学长们 xinyi和ariel原本打算到shah alam的一个stadium游泳，怎么知道因为是星期一而游泳池关闭，结果还是到greenbox唱K去，也开开心心吃了subway。 ^^
  其实自己是爱唱歌的，可是觉得自己歌喉还需再加强许多。所以在又爱唱歌又厉害唱的你们俩面前都变得胆小不大敢唱去。从中看到了自己的心理障碍，要时时提醒自己要对活得没有焦虑啊~ 哈哈。
• 30 September, 与中学朋友们去KL相聚+一日的背包探险。不懂是jieren还是say fong的鬼主意，以running man玩的方式在每站LRT下火车完成任务。过程很疯狂和傻，不过还真的非常好玩下的。跟他们出来总是会有那么多的不可思议 哈哈。
•  1 October, 早上11点多被sanyong电话叫醒，说是yuhern生日要帮忙庆祝，就答应他们一起又坐火车到PJ的Jump Street一起“跳”。第一次体验如此特别如此好玩的运动，改次有机会一定还会去的！ :D

Jump Street! 

• 4 October, 难得家胜和xinyi有空，就拖他们还有缘之家的几位（包括妹妹，jingwei，yuhang）到bukit cahaya骑脚车运动运动。爱搞鬼搞笑的我们也在过程玩得很开心很开心。 :P

• 6 October, 与sanyong到了kampar，白天就与sanyong努力地卖脚踏车。从eastlake骑要卖的脚踏车到附近的脚踏车维修店维修后，又踏到客户的家去送"bicycle delivery"。这果然是个不错好玩的经验啊 :3
  晚上时，就与刚认识不久的网友/佛友/好友一起到附近的爱面子吃了晚餐。跟她聊天给人的感觉非常轻松自在，没有我想象中那么地尴尬。那晚能够与你聊天还真是挺开心的。 :)
• 7 October，晚上与sanyong，sayfong和其他他们的室友到kampar的电影院看《Annabelle》，知道自己胆小。。还是会多练练自己的胆量的。。哈哈。。
• 8 - 11 October, 出发到槟城去~ 第一夜合最后一夜住了yunni家，第二天在槟岛。整个旅程最刺激的还是能够与大家玩escape，超好玩的！ XP 最温馨呢？当然是与大家共享最后一夜的晚餐，大家边吃着有说有笑，真的感觉非常棒！谢谢你们！也谢谢yunni父母请客！感恩 _/\_
• 12 October, sem break最后一天，最后一次去了滨海。听黄老师的讲课，有许许多多的感触。感恩黄老师的用心弘法，祝福您快乐，也祝福您母亲早日康复 :)
  之后呢，大约晚上7点才回到宿舍，回到我的另外个家。

数一数，在这sem break原来大约去了13个outing也。。哈哈我实在是不错会走下下的。。不过最重要我也觉得我在这假期没浪费太多时间在上网和游戏，算是件好事吧。。从这假期中也让我经常在愉快的心情中，非常感恩自己没像以往那么颓废了。但最后放松归放松，现在开学了，心情收拾好后也该好好的拼一拼了！希望从这假期中让我也获取了许多的正能量，给我冲刺往前冲。

张彦航，加油加油加油！
大家，也一起加油！ :)

Parables - For Me and You

During this semester break, I kept moving back and forth into these emotional states of feeling agitated and feeling slothful. Agitated because I kept stressing myself up, whether is pressuring myself to be more productive or thinking WAYYY TOOO MUCHH, pushing my mind somehow to an extent that it is about to go KABOOM. On the other hand, after being so stressed up, there are sometimes that I felt that I don't feel like doing anything, and the word for that of course would be: LAZY (hehe the lazy me).

Somehow, perhaps I'm pushing myself too much by being too energetic and that cause myself to be loosen after that. And by the end of the day, what I normally do after that is, blaming myself, keep giving myself negative thoughts, feeding my mind with these poisons saying "you are such a loser" or "why can't you be any better?".

And for those who are reading this, if you are feeling the same way as I am, then that means YOU ARE A FAILURE TOO! opps just kidding. If you are feeling the same, then please tell yourself it's okay to be a failure, I mean, to procrastinate and not being productive, don't stress yourself too much, just relax and try to see the situation as what it is, don't judge and don't blame. As the definition of what's good and what's bad is just our perspective on things, the truth is things don't have good or bad, it simply is just what it is. :)

SOOO... what can we do then? Hmm.. I think I will let these 2 videos to explain more of it and thanks to these videos for inspiring me so much. Hope you guys have a great week ahead! Namaste. _/\_

疯狂的我

呵呵，看到我之前的post，这次我尽量不写那么长了:P ：

昨天（9月17日），我做了件很疯狂的事情，是我有史以来做过“暂时”最傻最突然的事了。

那时是下午1点多，刚睡醒就下来吃午餐了。吃了后也剪了指甲，突然看见妈妈刚从朋友那里拿回来的脚踏车，心血来潮便拿了出去骑一骑。那时我还是穿着睡衣（家里穿的普通衣服），钱包电话什么都没带，口袋只是有着一串家钥匙，一串脚车钥匙，就这样出去了。

原本还想说只是骑一下子逛逛看看家园附近最近的改变。怎么知道却越踏越远，不知不觉就踏进了sentosa里面。这时，心中突然有着莫名的冲动，想着一个非常傻且刺激的主意：“eii？不如咱们去家胜的家吧？” 就这样，我就踏到家胜家去了。

家胜，其实是我最要好朋友之一。不管是傻事还是心事我们都会常常一起分享，或许是因为相应的关系，所以每一次跟他在一起都会很舒服。而为什么我会说去他家是个傻主意呢？那是因为家胜他人住在Bandar Botanic，而我呢却住靠近sentosa，距离应该有8公里远，就连驾车到他家也大约需半小时时间。

不过当下会突然有着这念头，是因为想到家胜他人星期日就得回去金宝读书了，而我们之前答应说好这假期一起出来聊聊天。就这样，由于担心过后的几天里彼此没办法抽空出来，因此就告诉自己说：去吧！

另外，其实在考试期间里，也面临了许多打击自己自信心的问题，让我开始怀疑自己的潜能了。也借此机会发泄发泄。一开始有着这想法时，发觉自己的心是不敢不敢地，是那么的不果断，那么地胆小。问自己怕什么时，自己也不知道。难道说路程太远太危险了，自己一个人不敢去吗？这时脑子里也突然闪过自己读过的一篇文章，那篇文章是说关于如何成功，让我最印象深刻的一点是它说的我们往往会不成功，其中一个原因是因为我们怕成功，我们不敢接受成功，因为我们怕改变，因为我们现在过得很享受，有着很好的环境，很好的条件。恐怕努力过程中就失去了这些感受，这些好条件。可是，我们必须弄清楚的一点，这些我们现在享受的一切，它只能够暂时性地满足我们，我们始终还是会面临苦的。

当下脑子闪过这篇文章后，心立刻毫不犹豫地告诉身体说：“咱们冲吧！没什么好怕的，咱们必须要改掉这个“怕成功”的心态！”。就这样，不再害怕，不再犹豫地抱着一个心态：做，就是了。

过程，我才发觉原来在全身贯注地做一件事时（比如非常小心地看路；少车较安全时看看风景），路程其实没有自己想象中远，也没想象中累。或许是因为自己在做着自己喜欢我的事吧？但心中是希望自己在读书时也培养出这份坚持，不要再因为抗拒读书而懈怠了。

到达家胜家那瞬间，看得出他头上挂着好多问号。当他看见我脚踏车时，他才惊讶地问道：“你踏脚车来啊？！” 哈哈。。那表情还真是那么的可贵啊！ XP

在家胜家，我们聊了很多。从学业说到友情，从友情说到爱情，也从爱情说到"法侣情"，总之就是什么都聊，能够与好久没见面的好兄弟聊这么久 ，可说是种简单的幸福。兄弟，看好你的“小说”哦！ 加油！在这里也祝福你，希望你学业猛进，一起福慧双修。 :)

总结呢，昨天虽然是我做过最疯狂的一件事，但也是我做过最满足的一件事。从中我证明了自己其实是可以的，也肯定了自己其实是可以从不可能中变去可能，条件是只要告诉自己，也相信自己是能办到的，过程中也不去质疑，只是一味地去做，相信很多事情就这样可以迎刃而解。在这次的体会中，我也对这句：“目的地不重要，重要是过程。” 有着更深一层的体会。当初到达家胜家时，心里的确有着很大的满足感，非常地开心，但过了一段时间后才发觉这点成就虽然能够让我开心起来，可是主要让我更加开心地是它过程。因为过程中的心情起浮，有时紧张；有时谨慎；有时轻松；有时酸痛，这些多样化的心情不但让我能够察觉自己得更细，而且也在这些心态中了解了自己的一点点。最重要的，还是因为过程让我感觉人生更加地真实，更加地美。感恩自己，也感恩每一天有着让自己有机会学习的因缘。_/\_

MIA (Missing In Action)

Alright alright, I know its been a while since my last and also, apparently my first post haha, but hey, at least I am taking the initiative right now in typing my SECOND post in 3 MONTHS hehe (guilty). Well.. I guess I should update what I've been up to these 3 months, since I've been missing in action for so long..

Actually, there isn't a valid reason for why I've been stop blogging. Its actually simply because I'm simply lazy, and sometimes I feel that if I am going to blog, I want to blog mindfully, and that costs a lot of time as I would always be alone with myself quietly thinking for a few hours about what I actually felt that day. But I think I am going to try blogging more often, and try not to think too much, just be in the moment and FEEL it, kinda like using more of emotional thinking rather than analytically thinking all the time, you know, let the inspirations FLOWWWW~~~~~~~

Its exam week and I've been doing a lot of last minute stuDYING. And for almost every subject, I would study from night until the second day morning, and straight went off to school to take the exams, of course, I would take a 30 minutes to 1 hour ++ nap, but still the experience was very exhausting.

For me, I always think that exams and the things I am currently studying are stupid, its a waste of time I always tell myself that. What's the use of studying the things we dislike just to graduate with a degree cert? And the next step is getting a boring job that we all hate and live the rest of our lives chaining to debts and liabilities to carry. I always thought that something is wrong with the society, and always grunt but do nothing about it, because, I am part of this society trend, what can I really do? But recently, I got to know a girl, and she actually changed me, not literally, but well, part of me. She showed me something I had always been missing since long ago: the quality of optimism and determinant, the quality that was so strong that at that moment I felt that nothing is impossible. She didn't persuade me that the society is not wrong, and my opinion about this still stands, however, she managed to persuade me that if we really had to follow this strange trend, we are still able to do what we want to do or be whatever we want to be, as long as we are willing to. With that, we shall stand out from the norm.. Her spirit amazed me and from that day, I am still learning and carrying that spirit in facing life.

SOOO.. what does that got to do with me and my exams? Quite big effect I must say, before, I can't remember when I started acting like that, but I started to take things lightly, especially those which I don't feel interested in, always wanting to escape from those situations, giving me excuses such as "everything will be okay" or "it doesn't matter". But the thing is it is not about how it will turn out, its about how I face that situation. If I kept escaping by giving lame excuses, slowly I don't think I won't able to succeed in doing anything. Determinant, is doing things which seems hard and overturn the outcome by enduring and working hard. I am a kind of guy who likes doing things "happy-go-luckily", so whenever facing things I dislike, I don't feel interested in doing and often give up half-way or just simply doing it. However sometimes, we just have to do the things we hate just to see the rainbow behind it..

And with that, I tried to carry that spirit when preparing and facing my exams, and hopefully carrying it everyday, because living life to the fullest is about doing things passionately and really focusing and being in the moment despite how distasteful it may seem. We won't get the things we want just by wishing, but through pain and effort, even if it means doing things we don't like. The things you just read may sound cliche and you may heard it a lot of times, same goes for me, but I think I have a deeper understanding about it right now. There's the saying which goes something like this: "If you want something, you have to BE that something."

This post originally was to update about my current status, but it seems it has become a post of my thoughts about how life should be treated. I hope this post not only acts as a reminder to myself, but also hope it inspires those who are reading. Good night and may all be well and happy. Smile! :)

New Blog. New Start.

Hmm..要怎么开始呢？呵呵，其实老早就有想写部落的念头了（打从年头就开始想写了），可是却因为两种原因促使我无法开始，那就是：担心时间不够和时常懒惰（最大的原因哈哈 XD）。那又是什么冲动让我突然从懒惰中爬起呢？也又是什么东西会让我这不喜欢读书的人老早就种下写部落的念头呢？

其实今天会终于开始写部落也是因为懒惰读书哈哈。逃避了书一整天了才发觉，与其因为逃避书而一直把自己捆在facebook和youtube里，不如好好的趁现在利用这时间写我这全新的部落（说起来还挺兴奋的，哈哈，怎么说也是人生第一次写部落耶！XD）

那又是什么会让我有写部落的冲动呢？明明知道自己是个不喜欢读太多文字的人，却会写那么多字给自己看，做么叻？说起来矛盾不过其实自己也是蛮enjoy打字的，呵呵。其实最大的原因也是因为看到有几位老师、朋友们都在写部落，而就从他们的部落，他们的文字中体验他们是如何规划人生，如何面对生活的种种发生，如何看待世界。而因为他们的部落，我可以感受到他们的感受，感受自己从未感受过的感觉。这种感觉对我而言是无法形容的喜悦，是非常非常法喜的 ^^ （现在想起都觉得开心，呵呵）。第二个原因是发觉写部落其实是一种自我省思检讨的好方法。通过写部落，同时能够培养自己的表达能力（也是我想要学习的部分），也可以让我更清楚看见并了解自己，这也是我写部落的主要目的。因此也因这样，我才会把部落标题名为：心法的镜子　Mirror to Myself。“心法”这法名是当初参加Utar大专佛学生活营通明法师赐的法名，当初觉得这法名很好听，也是我的第一个北传法名，所以非常珍惜它，把它当成了自己学佛的动力。而镜子呢其实是用来形容这部落，看过伟康老师把自己的部落名为心经heart sutra，因此也启发我把部落形容为镜子，因为它能够让我清清楚楚看见自己的心，觉察自己的起心动念。

那么，有了部落后我会给自己什么期望呢？哈哈，其实我对自己最大的期望是除了能够自我觉察外，也能够从自我觉察中生出动力来，什么动力呢？基本上就是做好自己的动力，比如：兼顾学业、健康、家庭等等。但主要还是学业和学佛，呵呵，希望我会因为这样而努力啦！ >< 这让我想起，曾经听过一个quote，就是：“If you want to achieve it, you have to be it.” 我想这句说得很正确，看来我不能只靠“希望我会这样那样”，而是以确实行动表现：我就是能做到！！ O.O 感觉还真可怕（因为需要拼，大爷最怕拼了><）。

最后，想说的是，有了这部落，我答应自己要好好努力，也要时常update！所以呢，镜子啊镜子~初次前面，你好，我叫张彦航，是你的新主人，请多多指教！ :3

新的部落。新的开始。

心法 上