Songs that Speak: "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran

Loving can hurt

Loving can hurt sometimes

But it's the only thing that I know

When it gets hard

You know it can get hard sometimes

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me

Inside the pocket

Of your ripped jeans

Holdin' me closer

'Til our eyes meet

You won't ever be alone

Wait for me to come home

Loving can heal

Loving can mend your soul

And it's the only thing that I know (know)

I swear it will get easier

Remember that with every piece of ya

And it's the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Our hearts were never broken

Times forever frozen still

So you can keep me

Inside the pocket

Of your ripped jeans

Holdin' me closer

'Til our eyes meet

You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me

That's OK, baby, only words bleed

Inside these pages you just hold me

And I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home [4x]

Oh you can fit me

Inside the necklace you got when you were 16

Next to your heartbeat

Where I should be

Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me

Well, that's OK, baby, only words bleed

Inside these pages you just hold me

And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away

I will remember how you kissed me

Under the lamppost

Back on 6th street

Hearing you whisper through the phone,

"Wait for me to come home."

欣航恋：学习心得

结束后，我觉得 也应该做出一个整理。

整理我从这次里向她也好，向自己也好，或是向这感情都好，所学习的心得。

在这里，我学习了信任 一直是很重要的，不管在任何恋情中。因为信任，彼此才不怀疑；因为信任，才有自由，才能够真正做回自己。在任何恋情中，我们总应该学习 相信 我们的另一半，虽然负面情绪和思考总是 会给你很多很多的“绊脚石”，让你想太多，但 如果感情一直都被 爱 牵伴着，你就不用质疑，因为你对她的爱，在她心里是 绝对的。

另外，感情的持久 是靠双方的意愿。一旦其中一方不想了，那么 也没有意思继续了。但停止了，也不代表爱 结束了。在最近看的一套戏“ Book of Life"里，其中个死神La muerte，曾说："True love, that really, really good kind of love never dies." 没错，爱 是非常美好的，是感动的，是无穷的包容的，因为 爱，它角色很单纯：就是 爱 而已，没其他元素。

所以，让我收获最多最大的是，在这感情里，努力了，尽了后，若 缘分未到，那么也只能 接受，平且 放下。没错，所以 我给的最后一个 爱 是 放下。

Sometimes in life, when you care for someone or something too much, you just have to let it go. Because one thing for sure, you just want that someone to be simply, happy.

Girl, I really hope for the best for you. And really hope you can be happy as always. :)

谢谢 你以前给的美好，那些回忆都很快乐。

珍惜。爱。永别。

Our story: END

So, our story officially ended.

How did it go? Well, all the efforts I made had put into waste. The things that I wanted to show her so badly didn't manage to let her see. Simply, she refused to, can I blame her? No. It's her choice.

After the 5 minute debating, it ended with me saying a lot of "sorries". Sorry for all the mistakes that I made which led her to feeling unhappy.

However, after she went up. her friend told me the main reason why she wanted to break up with me so badly...

The reason is that. he said, whenever she needs me, I wasn't there for her. And he said it was because of distance. I didn't know that she was in a lot of pain and stress recently that she just need me to be there to comfort her. And if only she said that, I wouldn't mind rushing up here, just to be with her.

However, the question is, I can be with her 1 day or 2 days or maybe a week, but can i always be there for her? When I'm not there, she simply can't feel my presence.

I wanted to let her know how badly I wanted to be there for her, and I want her to know that my heart is always there for her. I want to let her know she is my world, and I am always wanting of having her beside me. But, sadly. she can't feel it.

Can I blame her? No. It's her choice. But for me one thing for sure is, distance never separates two people who are deeply in love with each other. And I'm going to hold on to that...

But hey, at least, I tried my best, right? No regrets. Still, I hope she will be as happy as always. And meet someone who's willing to give her as much love as she needs to. I hope she will be loved and I wish for the best for her.

I guess, now that I tried, what my next step is, letting her go, which some might say its the hardest.
Well, yea, it is the hardest, at least for me. But as the classic cliche goes "if you really love someone, you'll have to let her go." So, that's what I'm going to do now.

陈欣盈，只想让你知道，我的心里 一直一直 都有你。也会记得这么样的一个陈欣盈。

我爱你。

掰掰。 :)

Waiting.

Truth be told, I still miss her.

Its been three weeks since the broke up. Still, she treats me coldly as usual.

Last week, I made of lot of stuffs in order to prove my love for her. And I did plan to meet her after Raya on last Monday, cause I thought it might be the best time after all. To make sure I don't disturb her at her busiest moment like before, I asked her friend whether she's free during that moment. However, she somehow knew I was coming, and replied me with some harsh words.

And I admit, those harsh words did get into me. I was disappointed and also a little mad at the same time. That moment, i let my emotions control me, thinking if she really doesn't want to see me, then beat it. I will grant her what she wished for. (I even uploaded a stupid post saying goodbye)

 Few days passed, and a question still pops out from my mind: What exactly made us broke up?

From this, its seems like I haven't really let go. Seems like letting go its not easy as it seems, but the reason I can't let go its because I don't want to. I know some might say I'm stubborn, but I felt that a break up shouldn't be this rash, and yea, I still care for her. i want to her to be part of my life.

So, for now, I will still wait for her, wait until she's ready to face this problem. Like my pal JiaYuen said, we should solve this maturely like adults, and I admit these few weeks I 've been really childish in facing this issue.

If you are seeing this, maybe you might feel agitated, but no matter how, I will be waiting for you. Waiting for you to be ready.

Peace out.

The man who can't be moved - The Script:

Our Love

I don't really know how to say this, but our love is kinda unique... (But then every couple claims theirs are too haha)

I think I really understand why she wanted to break up with me.
It's been 1 week since we broke up.
And during this period of time, I have my UPs and DOWNs...
Yea, I was emotionally unstable.. most of the time i was sad...

But then just now, when I was having my midterm test, something came to me...
These few days I wasn't able to really focus on anything due to what had happened to us..
But when I was left with 30 minutes preparing for my midterm, I forced myself to focus on the present moment, and guess what? Throughout the midterm, I was able to forget the pain and totally immersed into my paper~

This really made me think that whether to be sad or happy its really a matter of choice, because after I completed my paper, I suddenly feel an ease and was steady as if nothing bad had happened. So, one does really able to move on and forget about the past if one stays focus on the present.

So, you guys might think, what does this have to do with me and her? Well, before we broke up, we have a rough month, she was very busy with her stuffs and studies, while I was left alone simply missing her dearly. And during this period of time, I kept focus my attention on her, making the stressed girl that she already is even worse, more likely, she was thinking of me as a responsibility that needed to be taken care of. Gradually, she wasn't thinking of me as her boyfriend anymore (a boyfriend which always able to reduce her stress whenever she wants it). And that made her even tighten, as she is always the one who loves freedom. And believe me, I really do love seeing her being carefree and doing the things she wants, because i can really see that those are the things that made her very simply, happy. :)

But then, i guessed what really ended up was, after she started seeing me as a responsibility (and now that she already labelled me as "annoying"). Through this, i can really see how she tried her best to give me affection and love. And on that day, her reason she wanted to broke up was this: tired. She said she was tired of the responsibility of being needed to cheer me and entertain me as if I was one of her "clients". Another reason she said was, she does not have any affection or some might say "feeling" towards me any more as due to the long distance.

What came to me today was, the true reason why we broke up is, her life and my life were too "busy", as if everyday there will be stuffs needed to be taken care of... And when we are too immersed into these stuffs, we will gradually lose interests in keeping the things we held on, including our love life. Because our lives are just too interesting and it always has a way to tempt us from forgetting why we are keeping it.

And, although this is a problem I can see clearly, but i still think that i don't want to give up on her.
The reason why I suddenly understand why, and her true feeling is because, we both have chemistry.
I really felt that we both have a lot in common, our goals, our interests, our mindsets. I do really believe we have a lot of potential together being each other's partner. Together we really can achieve a lot, especially learning and experiencing life together (sounds very deep and mature, i know~ haha)

She is my Mrs Right, and i hope to gain her back. Cause in the end, although we are separated, and our lives tend to get really "busy", but i do believe, if we can take both our energies and focus more on creating stuffs together, we really can go through life together, and i do believe this would solve our problem. Soooo.. wish me luck!

Peace out.

心经（1）

今天的情绪，是起起落落的。。但现在总算 稳定多了。。

                从刚才，很害怕 同时 很伤心，到现在 心是平静，是信任对方的。。这过程中，是什么让我有 这么样的改变？

                看到说，自己真的 在学佛路上，一直忘记精进，忘了 佛法，忘了佛陀。。就这样，在这一段时期 因为 女孩的冷淡，就容易陷入缺自信，紧张，控制欲强的 男孩。。其实 事情只不过 是 她 忙，不能处理那么多的事情，而且 很厉害的是，她 很 清楚 自己 想要的是什么，而 认真地 去做。。

                而我，也忘了佛陀，不知不觉中 皈依于她了。。熊妈妈和熊爸爸 指点后才看见，原来 皈依人是很危险的 事情。。因为大家都是 凡夫，都是不圆满的，一旦 看见或遇上 不圆满时，周遭也容易 感受 不圆满。。导致皈依者 之前所 期待的，所期望的 造成失望。。

                所以，在感情上，该怎么去爱呢？爱 一个人，是没错，用自己的心去爱，但前提 是以自己的心，当你把所有的事物都放在她身上，一切 都为了她做，你还是 你自己吗？还是说，你还有 你自己吗？

            感情上，是两个人的事情，永远不是一个人的。。所以 自己的功课是，时时刻刻 要提起 正念，时时提起 自己 要为自己而活。。女孩 很清楚知道 她 自己 想怎么过她的大学生活，也很认真地 去看待 这件事，很积极的做；那么，男孩呢？男孩会不会是因为 觉得真的想要 做的东西，不是在大学生活中找到的，也同时 会对自己的学习 颓废 不认真，才会想要处处都为女孩就好了，跟女孩就好了呢？如果 是这么样，男孩要提醒自己了哦。。女孩 在为她想要做的事 不断地成长和改变（真的赞叹），男孩 是不是 该学一学 女孩，精进 做自己喜欢做和想要 拼的事呢？

            之前 出现的一个问题是：“那么 如果 我不是处处为了她，我会不会 不对她宽容，不再是 对她有无限的 爱了？”暂时是，或许 我不知道？自己没体验过。。但  能肯定的是 这样会很辛苦，而且 相信 女孩 也不需要这么样的东西，反而。。感觉 女孩 看到 自己的男孩 在真正做自己认真做的事，或许 会觉得帅？

            我想跟 张彦航说的是：“男孩，你很棒，她也看到，你不需要感到 害怕、恐慌 失落，因为 我相信 她 是 爱你的，包容你的，你就积极 去做你该 精进的部分吧！加油！祝福你哟！”

p/s: 你知道吗？你身边有很多很多 关心你的人也~ 一群善友 在扶持你也~ 你还很可爱的去执著在 你不应该 执著的东西~~ 一起 加油吧！_/\_

《来自般若心的你》学习心得

在这2天1夜和4天3夜的集训兼佛学营中学了体验了许多。在这次的因缘下，也当上了辅导员。也因为承担辅导员的位子，修学佛法也没有停留在佛学罢了，而有更深一层的体验 ——学佛。老实说，在集训和营的第1和第2天中因为处在开心状态就是平常心态中，所以师父和副题讲师所灌输的课程都觉得很实在很受用（当然也有一些时候不小心 睡着去了 哈哈）。从钟居士的课程中，除了refresh自己对四圣谛的原本的了解外，也更深层的了解了四圣谛，还有它与八正道的关系。反而在师父的课程呢，哈哈，可多呢。比如说，在第一和第二天师父一直都在给许多生活化的例子。刚开始给我的感觉，师父都一直在给很多例子，整体的感觉师父好像在聊天似的，更本没进入主题。可是在第一天的问题讨论后，才发觉师父的厉害。师父清楚地了解佛法是很贴切的，是生活化的，因此通过他的故事中他都一直在让我们看到法的存在。只要心越细，就能看到，体会到法。而了解这点后也更让我去专心地听师父的讲课。另外，也在师父的讲课中更深入地了解人的心念非常非常重要，它影响我们的范围多于平时我们想象的。在课程中也提到吸引力法则，让我更深入地相信这句：you are what you think。举个例子，成功人士为什么会成功，生病的人为什么会生病，那是因为成功人士往往以：“我要成功”的信念去面对一切问题，反而生病人会生病也是因为自己常告诉自己自己是很衰弱的。同样的，伤心人会伤心是因为他们让情绪去控制自己的心念，而不管是有意或无意就吸引了一切的负面事物与情绪，使自己更惨。但只要一个人时时刻刻保持正念，懂得把问题看得清楚并转念，一切事物都会随着心念而改变。当然，这样来说，开心与不开心 是一个选择。

                除此之外，这次营的主题是关于心经嘛，当然也在营中学习了心经里的含义。从中，让我觉得赞叹的是心经虽然只有区区的260个字，但佛教的中心思想都包含在里面了，而且含义也不浅哦！是有着深深的佛法智慧在里头！这让我觉得当时候取经的玄奘法师不简单，非常了不起，同样的，其他曾经翻译心经内容的法师都很伟大，因此也会更加珍惜心经等其他的经文，并在以后念诵心经时以正念去念诵。感恩。

当然，佛法不只是只停留在修学，还得去实践，说到这点就可难了。在营的第3和第4天，也因为某些事情的发生和自己的不了解和“想太多”，让自己进入了一个非常非常不开心的状态。因此不管是做什么事情都非常没有心情，也因为这件事，让我把问题的洞越挖越深，越陷越深。就如在上顶上的雪球一样，刚开始滚只不过是个小球，但因为一些不了解，成见，使球越滚越大，大得自己无法自拔。当自己发觉到这问题时，自己也想转念，可是本人本身就是喜欢执着于问题。每次都不爱放下，而特别是当问题牵涉到自己的信心时，更是难以收拾。这跟我刚才提到的开心与伤心只是个选择的论点就有了矛盾。那么矛盾在哪儿呢？矛盾在于本身知道必须转念，不要再拿着“包袱”不放，可是却放不下，从中也可以看得出自己还有很多很多的修行和实践必须作。

                最后如果你问我关于这4天3夜的感想呢，我只能说真的如过山车一样，有起有落。当然，从中看到自己可以因为一些小事而失去自己，对自己的肯定还不够，看到自己还是可以很容易被事物的发生而影响。因此也很感恩因为这次体验，让我更认清自己，知道自己必须再对于自我肯定中再加油，也同时在转念中学习不执着于当下的“包袱”，好好认清状况而作出改变，而不是反应。张彦航，you are and will always be as awesome as ever。祝福自己，也祝福一切成全我学习的因缘。加油。 :)